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Luck nature

This is the season when rice is sluggish. It was the so-called abundance.

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The leaves, fresh and green all summer, fell. One day, they had withered and shriveled, finally falling. The rustling beneath my feet testified to their death.
The bare branches of the trees resembled my bones, and the fresh breeze resembled my breathing. I might die this fall. Perhaps I did. There was no romance in this bleak season. The sunset over the greenery wasn't as intense as the sun. A brown color that would never rise again. Fall was the sole purpose of fall.
In the suffocating hospital room. Still, struggling to live, I was weary of this fleeting life. Hope and promise had long since been forgotten, the limits of self-pity. I needed to do something to keep from sinking into lethargy. I needed someone, no, a friend.
Then a child my age was admitted to this hospital. Right next door, in the same room. Curious, I peeked in. Perhaps we could be friends. The sight I encountered was all too familiar. The glass window on the door felt like a full-length mirror from some time ago. My reflection back then. I swore I'd never wished anyone else's misfortune. But I was certain: you were my true friend.
No one had experienced my misfortune as much as you, no one whose comfort wouldn't be deceptive. Others didn't know my pain. At best, they understood. But you knew it. You would know me.

 

I thought, but it didn't work out. Regardless of whether we were on good terms or bad terms, it was different.
Perhaps because you arrived at the hospital later than me, you had a lively and positive outlook. You supported yourself with memories of school, cram school, and snacks from before your illness. You were different from me, who had longed for those days and forgotten them. How could I celebrate and live what was once routine? It was simply impossible for me.
Life is short. That's why I was worthless, and that's why you were precious. You placed meaning in nothingness. For example, you spoke of what death brings. It wasn't the leaves rotting, but the autumn leaves turning red. And that was for living through the next year. We're not dying, we're living. That's what you said.

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